April Fool’s 2013

It’s the morning  of April 1, 2013 and as is my morning ritual, I check Facebook. I scan my Newsfeed for the daily happenings- someone complaining about not getting enough sleep, another picture of an amazing late night meal, cute child covered in last night’s supper; all of these rather important updates I scan. And then, I come to a Facebook friend’s post that reads,

“Giving up Facebook for Lent leaves you with a lot of free time… Dissertation done and baby #4 due in November”.

I stop finger scrolling immediately. My childhood friend and now Facebook friend who’s updates I regularly read for mama wisdom, has somehow done the impossible.

1. She gave up Facebook for over one month. Amazing.

2. She managed to finish her PhD dissertation during that time. Truly amazing.

3. She PROCREATED during her time off, while juggling three children (all under the age of 6)... FREAKING amazing.

I catch myself from going into a mild depression and turn Facebook off. I don’t have the heart to scroll through anymore Facebook posts. I feel like a success if I have a shower in a day and put make up on. I haven’t written on my blog in months and yet I have a bazillion posts in my head, ready to be written. She wrote and finished a freakin’ PhD?!

As I pick up my 9 month old to feed him breakfast I can not get her status update out of my head. How the HECK did she do that? What exactly am I doing wrong? Am I doing anything wrong? Is it because she went to Princeton? I never really associated her with a Type A personality. She is miraculous. Last year, I had dinner with her sister in San Francisco and she told me what an amazing mother she was to her little ones. She is. She is the Sheryl Sandberg of my Facebook world. She can and does do it all.

I decide I have to find out what her secret is. How does she do it all? When does she make time for a PhD and whoopie with her hubby? (That’s right I wrote whoopie… my parents are my number 1 readers and for some reason the idea of write S-E-X on here makes me blush knowing they are reading).

I am going to send her a message telling her how amazing I think she is and I will ask for a point by point list of her daily routine. I want her to write out exactly what she does during her day, hour by hour and I will follow it.

I go back into Facebook and decide to read the comments before I send her the message.

And that’s when I start reading….

“Oh… you got me! April Fool’s”

“Ahhhhhhhh… April fools?! Good one”

“I was fooled”

“You’re hilarious”

OMG, thank the LORD! April Fool’s. Yes, I was duped too. And I let out a sigh of relief. Phew.