Well I am back to reporting about the I CAN DO IT Conference. I felt like I needed a bit of a break from the blog after writing everyday last week.
The 2nd talk of the 2nd day was Robert Holden. After the break we returned to our seats and I have to say I was somewhat surprised to see a PowerPoint presentation projected on to a large screen. I was surprised and a little annoyed. I was really enjoying the keynote speaking style, the conversational tone that each speaker had with the audience, and the PowerPoint presence seemed a bit unauthentic.
But… like most of my judgments, I was out of line and completely wrong. The presentation was extremely authentic and Robert Holden was hilarious, joyous, sincere, and captivating. Robert Holden speaks and writes about happiness. In 1994 he launched the Happiness Project, based in the UK, and since then has authored the books “Success Intelligence” and “Be Happy”.
Here are my notes and again my own thoughts are in italics:
Robert Holden’s happiness programmes are based on six principles.
1. Identity Principle
There is a world of difference between searching for happiness and following your joy. Searching is future, seeking, chasing, and hopefully becoming happy one day. Follow my joy- is all about INNER direction. Something I am choosing to do. There is a willingness to surrender to the call to joy… and yet it is so easy to talk ourselves out of our joy.
Happiness is your compass, it tells us:
– to be authentic
– be more of who we really are
– helps us to be in sync with our lives
Happiness is an enabler- helps us to succeed in our lives. If we are happy we will be successful.
“The purpose of your life is not to arrive safely at your death”. (I didn’t write down who said this…)
Robert shared this fabulous YouTube video of a young boy and his father trying out for the tv show “Britain’s Got Talent”. As Robert said, you can SEE and FEEL the joy with this father and son.
2. Psychology Principle
Some people chase happiness and some people CHOOSE happiness.
Did you rise and shine today or did you rise and whine?
This totally resonated with me. When we were younger my mom would declare a day of the week as “NO WHINE” day. This was a day where my sister, Dad, and I could not whine about anything, and if we did the typical response was a sharp look from my mom and the words “Remember I said, NO WHINE day!” I can remember going on vacation and right before we had to go on a long walk or hike, I thought “please please please don’t let this be a no whine day…” and sure enough it was! As I look back on that experience now I realize that the no whine days actually make me stop and think about how I CHOSE to spend the day. Was I going to whine about my day or was I going to buck up and get on with it, hopefully with a little less attitude and a little more gratitude!
In the 1st hour of the morning, what did you choose?
Some choices are your “to do” and some are your “to be”.
– TO DO- important because they shape your day
– TO BE- affect the experience of the day
– Take the time to think of how you want “to be” today.
Allow yourself joy and happiness.
Life circumstances have a short term negliable affect. Don’t really make us happier, as in “When I have this….”
What really matters are the CHOICES we make.
3. Identifying the real more that you really really want.
What do I want…
– to be
– to give
– to receive
4. Healing principle
Sometimes in order to be happy in the present moment you have to be willing to give up all hope for a better past.
This was huge for me. I repeated this statement over and over and over again after Robert’s talk. It really resonated with me. The idea of giving up hope for a better past. When we worry or feel anxious, many times it is because we are thinking about the past or the future, but in this present moment, everything is fine and everything IS happiness.
Have to learn forgiveness.
Power of forgiveness-
– helps to set us free
– helps me remember who I am (who I was before this happened to me)
Not a victim of this world, nor a victim of the past.
A new beginning- gives us a chance to restore our original energy, we become less bitter and more sweet, more loving and with less cynicism.
We have to make a choice from resentment to forgiveness.
5. Relationship Principle
You have to make love more important than anything else.
Choose happiness first.
Happiness and love. Whenever you are not wholly joyous it is because you have reacted without love (Course in Miracles).
I want to be the most loving person I can be.
6.You can never become happy, you have TO BE happy.
We are always waiting and striving for a better now, but the happiness is here already.
Focusing on the NOW is to end the search for happiness.