Carolyn Myss- Day 2 Talk #1 of I CAN DO IT

So now we are into Day 2 of the I CAN DO IT Conference. As you can imagine my expectations were heightened thanks to the amazing speakers of Day 1. Could Day 2 actually top or be equal to the spectacularness (not even a word, but it should be one)?

The first speaker of Day 2 was Carolyn Myss. If Dr. Phil had a female archetype, she would be Carolyn Myss. She is a no nonsense, petite Polish woman, with a powerful presence. She has a fabulous sense of humour and the ability to make you think clearly amidst the fog.

She started her talk by explaining that she is working on a new book, so far she has only written two chapters of the book, but she was going to share with us the premise of her new book. “Loving Pandora-Exploring the Path of Human Intimacy”. Of course once she said the title out loud my first thought was “whoah… heavy” and my second thought was “Really? Is this really how we are going to start the morning? A PANDORA?!” Well fortunately my judgement was unfounded because Carolyn Myss was FABULOUS and quite possibly one of my favourites from the entire conference.

Here are my notes from the conference, and again my own thoughts are in italics:

  • There isn’t a human being who hasn’t been at war.
  • The world and how we relate has changed for all of us.
  • Carolyn argues that all of this changed after WWII… her thesis is supported throughout her talk.
  • Courtship doesn’t exist any more.
  • PRE WWII. People came together. They came together because they needed to survive together.  They had to rely on each other to be practical and make practical decisions. There was a mutual feeling of loyalty, devotion, practicality- all things that culminate to be BASIC SIMPLE VALUES.
  • We have transformed. Somehow we crack easily, we are more impatient with eachother and it is just way too easy to replace someone. Somehow we expect too much from the other.
  • There is a mystical truth- we are all one.
  • When there is a huge impact of anger or jealousy or hatred, this does change the world.
  • Somehow when WWII came and the bomb erupted, there was a shift. And since that time nothing has been the same.
  • Energy creates matter. We have entered a time where the laws of energy take precedent to the laws of matter.
  • We expect everything to happen at such a FAST pace.
  • Carolyn used dating as a perfect analogy. What used to occur through courtship over one year now occurs in 3 minutes. We meet someone and we tell them EVERYTHING.. “this is how I do this, this is what I eat, this is how I want to raise children, this is the religion I practice, this is when I like to go to sleep…”. And then in return, we expect the other to either agree or to say “sorry you aren’t my type”. But the point is the expectation that we set on this to happen IMMEDIATELY.
  • Carolyn stated that we are in the Age of Energy. Changes happens so fast that we can’t keep up with it. Change is immediate and as a result it is so profound. I really related to this. I do things at one would call an efficient pace. I like things done and dusted. I want to move on to the next thing and as a result I notice that when I do things at a fast pace I sometimes forget about something or I don’t do it properly, which at times can have a profound effect and yet if I slowed my pace down and got the details RIGHT then I wouldn’t have to re-do, re-visit, apologize, or retract.
  • Prior to WWII we didn’t have the “Self”. We had each other and we needed to survive with each other. However now the Self has emerged and we will do anything do get what we want. We identify with “my needs” and we won’t enter a relationship if “my needs aren’t met”. “Am I dating you or your wounds?”

 

  • Because you have suffered, in some form, you will become a channel  for your pain and you will always make excuses. YOU are your biggest obstacle, not your wounds. You use your wounds (your Pandora) to believe you are in the RIGHT.

 

  • Okay this was HUGE for me. HUGE. I remember in 2007 I was on a river rafting trip in India. It was one of the first nights on the river and one of the guides, (who captivated all of us- she was beautiful, tall, spiritual, soulful and so self aware), anyways somehow we were all around the fire and she asked me “Amanda what took you to Kenya?” I said “Well my husband left me and then I decided to pack up and take a job in Kenya”. And she said “What did you say?” “I said, my husband left me”. She said “THAT is not your story. You are MORE than that story. Don’t’ be a victim”. I honestly felt slapped in the face and I could tell in the darkness that my face had turned completely red. My eyes welled with tears and like a young girl I was saying to myself “YOU DON”T UNDERSTAND! You have NO IDEA”. But the truth is, she did know. She did understand. When Carolyn Myss said “You are your biggest obstacle, not your wounds” I thought YES. That is what she meant in 2007 in India along the river. YES. I get it. For a long time I have believed that my wounds were my story. That nothing existed prior to that or after that. That if people wanted to REALLY know who I am then they would get close to me and hear about my wounds. But man oh man. So much wonder has been in my life before and after those wounds and they do NOT represent my entire story. It was a huge moment for me. A moment to not only forgive myself but to forgive all those involved. It was huge and so awesome.
  • No demon should manage you. The wound stays but the demon goes.
  • For the wounds we have, we punish others. We try to bring people to their lowest potential. To help get beyond your wounds you need to ask:

1.    Why does pride control you?
2.    Why, instead of changing to accommodate someone are you holding on to your needs?
3.    Are my needs based on my wounds? What are my needs based on?

  • LET GO OF THE POWER OF THE WOUND.
  • The only person managing your soul is you. Bullets we shoot with our psychic field are the ones that really matter.

Find in others their divine and get over your wound.

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2 thoughts on “Carolyn Myss- Day 2 Talk #1 of I CAN DO IT

  1. Thank you for this excellent blog. I too was at the I Can Do It conference in Vancouver, BC and Carolyn was one of my favorites as well. She is the guru of no bullshit! I like people who get straight to the point! I found her to be extremely funny, smart and an amazing speaker. My ears really perked up when she said the words war and intimacy. I was curious how she was going to tie the two together as I had watched a speaker on Ted.com about how social media has made us more intimate (I didn’t necessarily agree with everything this woman said but she did make some very good points)so the contrast peaked my interest. I am dedicated to making the I Can Do It conference my yearly gift to myself. Loved it all.

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  2. Thanks for this update. I just had the opportunity to see Caroline in Tuscon Sept. 2011 and I am so excited for her new Pandora book. This gave a sneak peak. Thanks.

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