I can’t remember the last Friday night I spent at home. When had I last allowed myself the time to I listen to music, sip wine on the bean bag chair, cook with Jeff, and crawl into his arms to watch a movie. It had obviously been forever because when you can’t remember the last time you did something, it’s life screaming at you to do something about it.
Well last night I needed it. I have been struggling this week and needed that chill night. Jeff is the guru of chill. He can be relaxed in the middle of Times Square- or in the middle of a Folk Festival (see below), which is what attracted me to him- we are complete opposites in that way.
I love Vancouver but sometimes I think it grabs you with so many wonderful options that you feel torn to do everything, in one night. I got a ride to work yesterday with a friend and as we were heading downtown his son called. He had a conflict, he had double booked himself for a hockey tournament and a badminton tournament. Welcome to Vancouver kiddo- you are double booked all of the time- and trust me this isn’t about a popularity contest. There is just so much to do in the city- a lot of revolves around athletics- but I think it really has to do with the abundance of choice. We have lots of choices in this great city and sometimes staying in at home just doesn’t cut it.
Staying at home last night was the best decision I have made in a long time. Staying in and giving myself the time to chill reminded me that I don’t do it enough. I always know that I am in a state of flux and uncertainty when I start researching yoga classes, meditation courses, and re-read Pema Chodron. I begin to frantically google audio clips of Marianne Williamson, order self help books from the Library- I call myself to action. Fix this! Last night I didn’t need the wise words of Pema, Marianne, Oprah (yes I AM putting her in that category), or Wayne Dyer- what I needed was just to be still- to enjoy the moment- to stop and just breath.
Everyone tells you to just stop and breathe and be still and to be honest when people tell me that I think “oh yah, that would be nice… for maybe 5 minutes”. Trust me on this one, when your body, mind, and soul are telling you, you need to slow down and just collect yourself- LISTEN. I think my body hit me over the head with a baseball bat yesterday- insisting I be calm, drink wine, sit on the bean bag chair, and watch a movie with my guy.